Forums for The Plothole

The sky above Australia is beginning to darken as night fast approached. City lights sprang to life throughout the capital city. People were busy headed home for the night, while others were hurry out for a night on the town. Either way, few were paying attention to the sky.
 
There was a twinkle and then a great, hot menace charged down from space. It passed the sky silently, but ominously, as it headed towards the distant Australian Outback. Life in Canberra went blissfully unaware of the malevolence that had just struck the continent.
 

---

 
The falling star had appeared as little more than a tiny wink from the island known as The Ditch.
 
Losien Simon carefully put the last piece of glass in place. She had managed to climb up to the roof of the training room and was gluing pieces of shattered glass back into the skylight. Why everyone in the universe insisted on dramatic entrances through windows and skylights, she would never understand.
 
The piece slotted in without an issue and she slowly backed away from it. Her shoulders were tense and her eyes were willing the skylight to stay fixed. When it appeared to be fine she sighed.
 
Heavily.
 
The glass creaked.
 
Losien held her breath.
 
She waited in desperate silence.
 
Wai: “Losien!”
 
Losien: “AH!”
 
The glass exploded.
 
Losien: “Bugger.”
 
She looked over the side of the building. It was constructed within a canyon in the island, so the walls were mostly made of the natural rock features, but the roof protruded up by a metre.
 
Losien: “What is it, Wai? I hope it’s worth all the hours I spent reassembling that skylight.”
 
Wai glanced at the skylight hole.
 
Wai: “Maybe it would be better to just buy a new sheet of glass?”
 
Losien: “Good idea! Will you be giving me cash or do you want to pay by credit card?”
 
Wai: “Ah…”
 
Losien: “I just bought a whole island. Cheap as it was, it was cheap for an island! That’ still a lot of money! I can’t afford a new sheet of glass!”
 
Wai: “Exactly, I was wondering how you managed to save up all that money...”
 
Losien looked a little sheepish.
 
Losien: “My… mommy gave me the money…”
 
An awkward silence passed between them.
 
Wai: “I am considerably underwhelmed by this.”
 
Losien: “Don’t tell anyone.”
 
Wai: “Wouldn’t want to dispel the illusion.”
 
Losien: “What did you want?”
 
Wai: “Oh. Newb reports that the fighting has finally stopped.”
 
Losien: “Oh? What finally stopped it.”
 
Wai: “Newb said they’re all dead. But I think some of them probably realised that their leader was gone and just left.”
 
Losien: “Great. I was thinking I was going to have to make a lot of phone calls to other people’s mothers. And I bet the phone bill for long-distance calls for the space pirates’ mothers would be very high.”
 
Wai: “With them gone, what will we do next?”
 
Losien: “You’re staying after all? Did Char look at your broken circuits?”
 
Wai: “He did, but we don’t have the parts to replace them.”
 
Losien: “Sorry.”
 
Wai: “Well, he suggested he could rig up an old dishwasher with a lava lamp and a sunbed to get the chips working again, but I thought it would be best to get it done… properly.”
 
Losien: “Understandable.”
 
Wai chewed his lip.
 
Wai: “I don’t suppose you have access to the bank of mom still?”
 
Losien’s face darkened.
 
Wai: “Okay! Forget I asked! I’m sure I can get the money together for the repairs eventually. Maybe if I’m hired for some hero work?”
 
Losien rose an eyebrow.
 
Losien: “You know, NeS Heroes have never been paid, right?”
 
Wai looked dejected.
 
Wai: “Oh well. It was worth a try.”
 
Losien: “Free room and board is all you get…”
 
She tapped her chin.
 
Losien: “Though, you’ll have to find both for yourself. Iriana already got a whole lighthouse to herself. I’m sure there’s somewhere else unclaimed. A church, or a garage or… a doghouse? Pretty sure I saw a doghouse.”
 
Wai: “Where does the food come from?”
 
Losien: “Oh right. I set up a Kickstarter campaign. We don’t get a lot of donations, but enough to buy a whole lot of tinned and processed food.”
 
Wai: “The healthy option!”
 
Losien: “There might be tinned peas. That’s healthy, right?”
 
Losien picked up the glue stick. She didn’t want to lose it. It cost money!
 
Losien: “Where is Newb, by the way?”
 
Wai: “She was on that hill over there, watching the beach through binoculars.”
 
Losien: “Still here then.”
 
Wai: “Is she likely to leave?”
 
Losien: “She keeps running off to live in the mountains. She comes down, steals stuff, and runs back up there and watches us with her sniper rifle.”
 
Wai: “Uh…”
 
Losien: “She shot me the other day!”
 
Wai: “What!?”
 
Losien: “Right on the ass!”
 
Wai: “Oh my god!”
 
Losien: “It was paint. But it still hurt!”
 
Wai wasn’t much of a jokester, but even he saw the entertainment in that.
 
Losien: “And it was brown.”
 
The robot-monk held back a snigger.
 
Losien: “I should try to convince her to be of more use around here.”
 
She hopped down from the roof and onto the grass next to Wai.
 
Char: “Losien, dear.”
 
Losien looked around but couldn’t see Char anywhere.
 
Wai: “I think they’re using the radio system.”
 
Wai pointed up to the loudspeaker that was cellotaped to a flag pole.
 
Losien: “Huh! I didn’t even know that was up there!”
 
Wai: “Seems to be a few of them all over the island.”
 
Char: “Losien, if you can hear me, there’s something you need to see.”
 
Losien: “Sounds like trouble.”
 
Wai: “Either that, or Aladdyn has got his head stuck in the washing machine. Again.”
 
Losien: “Third time’s the charm, they say.”
 
Wai: “Pretty sure this is the fifth time, but who’s counting?”
 

---

 
Oodnadatta was deep within the Australian Outback, a landmark for travellers and tourists passing through the area. This late evening, though, the citizens were abuzz with surprise as the falling star had landed in the Red Centre, the middle of the outback. People were clambering together to launch an expedition into the Red Centre to take a gander at this unexpected phenomenon. But even as the jeeps were readied and the explorers prepared, they witnessed something even more unusual.
 
Fog was rolling in from the Red Centre. It appeared as an eerie blue-white mist that was moving quickly, and against the wind, straight towards them. Some of the less confident people quickly headed indoors and locked the windows.
 
Those caught outside were engulfed in the haze. They could feel the cool mist sliding down their throats and into their lungs. Their vision was obscured, but they could see the shadows of the buildings and people around them. Then they spotted a figure approaching. Tall and peculiar. Their surprise and curiosity amounted to little, however, as their lungs, now flooded with the mist, exploded within their breasts.
 

---

 
Losien: “I’m here, Char.”
 
Back on The Ditch, Losien and Wai reached the bunker where Char had found the radio operations. The room looked like it came straight out of the Vietnam War and the radio equipment was even dated enough to be from the era.
 
Char: “My dear, Losien. Alongside this radio equipment, I found a television. Luckily, it’s a fairly new digital one, unlike the older radio equipment.”
 
Losien winced, but tried to keep a polite and happy face.
 
Losien: “That’s wonderful, Char. Congratulations. Now you can watch I’m A Celebrity, Get me Out of Here, all you like!”
 
She turned to leave.
 
Char: “I mean, there is something on the news you should watch.”
 
Losien scratched her head.
 
Losien: “If it’s another report on Brexit, I’m really about done with all that, Char. It’s like watching two people batter each other with fish.”
 
Char: “No, it’s much closer to home…”
 
Char turned the volume up on the breaking news that was being broadcast from Australia. Being so close to The Ditch, they were able to get a great reception. Even if they didn’t pay for it.
 
Losien: “Luckily, the TV people can’t inspect our sky satellite!”
 
The news was reporting some kind of weather problem. As she watched, there was a blue fog that was sweeping across the country.
 
Losien: “Fog is hardly the worst problem we’ve ever faced. I doubt it can get across the sea anyway.”
 
Char: “K-k-keep watching.”
 
The camera zoomed into the fog and, there, she could see people. Shuffling.
 
Wai: “It’s not a modernised Thriller video, is it?”
 
Char: “Unfortunately not, no.”
 
Losien: “Zombies. Damn. It’s always zombies.”
 
Char: “Not really. They’re still… well look.”
 
He pointed again to the screen. One of the ‘zombies’ rushed out of the mist and grabbed the reporter.
 
Infected Person: “I got you! Come! Come! You’ll join us!!”
 
He started to drag the woman towards the mist. He appeared to still have cognitive functions that zombies traditionally didn’t have. The skin was pale, almost blue like the mist, and the eyes were completely gone. Just two hollow, black, depths. He appeared manic, grinning and skipping as he pulled the helpless woman along.
 
The next moment, the fog surged forward and engulfed the cameraman too. The camera fell and clattered to the floor. From its prone position, people could be seen singing, dancing and skipping through the foggy streets. Sometimes they would, happily, attack each other violently, like it was some kind of game.
 
Losien: “What is this?”
 
Char: “No idea. Soldiers were able to capture one of the infected and take them to a research station. The body is definitely deceased, but the mist within it is keeping it animated and the brain functioning, if warped. Although it has its own will, it also obeys another. Who they is… nobody knows. They’re calling it the necromist.”
 
Wai: “That sounds gross.”
 
Losien: “And the zombies?”
 
Char: “What do you mean?”
 
Losien: “Are they just calling them zombies?”
 
Char: “I think they call them people, Losien!”
 
Losien: “Oh.”
 
Newb: “They could be called necroids.”
 
They glanced back to the entrance of the bunker to see Newb coming in. She still had her binoculars hung around her neck.
 
Char: “We shouldn’t dehumanise these people. They are diseased. You don’t call people with cancer, the Canceroids, do you? Or people with syphilis the Syphilids?”
 
Newb: “Haha, Syphilids. That sounds great.”
 
Losien: “Is there a cure for these necroids?”
 
Char’s robo-eyes glared at Losien.
 
Losien: “These… people?”
 
Char: “Not yet. Nobody can enter the necromist without turning. And the mist is growing ever larger. It affects all biological creatures. The cats, the dogs, the rats. Even the plants are changing, from what has been seen. Some got in there with hazmat suits, but the infected people tore those suits open…”
 
Losien: “And once all of Australia is consumed…”
 
Char: “We are not so far away.”
 
Losien: “That’s horrible.”
 
They waited expectantly for Losien to declare something, but when she just stood watching the TV, Wai piped up;
 
Wai: “So… what will we do?”
 
Losien: “What do you mean?”
 
Wai: “Aren’t we going to help?”
 
Losien: “Are you crazy!? A plague-mist that changes everyone into zombies!? What are we supposed to do? We’re NeS Heroes, this is way out of our league! Let the big superteams deal with this. Aren’t Hero Force still a thing? They’re a big superteam who can handle this!”
 
Newb, who was leaning against the wall and toying with a bowie knife, tutted.
 
Newb: “They’re off on a mission to Hell.”
 
Wai: “Hell? What?”
 
Losien: “More curiously, how do you know that?”
 
Newb: “It was on their Twitter feed.”
 
Losien rose an eyebrow at Newb.
 
Losien: “You follow Hero Force on Twitter?”
 
Newb straightened up, defensively.
 
Newb: “So? So? So what? I’m allowed to follow them, aren’t I?”
 
Losien: “Now I know! I got a package from the U.S. with a Hero Force tee shirt in it! I almost sent it back…”
 
Newb: “Hey! I’d been complaining to the seller about that!”
 
Losien: “I can’t believe that you, of all people, are a Hero Force fangirl!”
 
Newb sulked.
 
Newb: “I happen to think that Seraphim is really cool.”
 
Losien shook her head and laughed.
 
Newb: “Why is this so funny, huh?”
 
Losien: “At least now I know you’re human.”
 
Char: “I’m not a human, and I like Hero Force!”
 
Wai: “I don’t know what Hero Force is.”
 
Newb: “Dude, do you like under a rock?”
 
Wai: “No. But I have been living in space for a long time.”
 
Newb: “Riiiiiiiiight. Spacebots.”
 
Wai: “I can’t tell if I should find that term offensive or not.”
 
Char: “Could we please think of how we can help resolve this situation in Australia? Hero Force is not available, and other superteams also seem to be, at present, indisposed. That leaves us.”
 
Losien: “Or, you know, the military?”
 
They all look at Losien.
 
Losien: “What? This just seems well out of our league and not within our scope of operations. You don’t ask the plumber to do your electrics.”
 
Wai: “What’s that?”
 
He pointed to the television and, there, a pair of high-heeled boots had stopped by the fallen camera. This appeared to be the person who was furthest at the back of the necroid collective.
 
A white glove hoisted the camera up and pointed to the owner’s own face. He was gaunt, deathly gaunt, with long, white hair. His skin was much akin to the other necroids, as it was pale blue and looked like crystal. Despite the necromancer-like visage that the man’s body took, his attire was far, far more flamboyant. He was wearing a smart suit that was coloured a startling pink that hurt the eyes of people watching. He had a white cape over his shoulders and a pink bowler hat atop of his white hair. Concealing his eyes, or where his eyes might be if he had them, he had a pair of 3D glasses. From his ear is what appears to be a portable microphone, as though he was about to get on stage for a performance.
 
Necroman: “Ladies and gentleman! I am the pleased to announce that I am here to become your new overlord! As your new lord and master, I shall grant you immortality and happiness for all eternity! And don’t worry yourselves, you won’t even have a choice! Nobody wants free will, it’s much too stressful!”
 
His voice was deep but excited, like the voiceover to an advertisement.
 
Necroman: “My minions are already free of all burdens and concerns. They live lives of bliss and soon, so shall you! From the bottom of my none-existent heart, I look forward to meeting you.”
 
He laughed heartily and dropped the camera. He could be seen dancing and skipping after his necroids, who were cheering and screaming with wild happiness.
 
Losien: “Okay… that guy does look like one of our villains.”
 
Newb: “So we are going to do something? All we need is a strong wind to blow that fog away and I can shoot him with my rifle. Job’s done.”
 
Char: “Reports indicate that they have already shot many of these people. As he said, they are now immortal.”
 
Wai: “The main problem is going to be getting in there in the first place. If people could reach him, they might be able to subdue him. Tie him up, or whatever.”
 
Char: “The necromist only affects biological life.”
 
Wai: “So you and I could go in there?”
 
Char tilted his head.
 
Char: “You believe you and I could take on the entire populace of Australia?”
 
Losien: “Not all of Australia. Not yet!”
 
Char: “A single town can house over fifty thousand people.”
 
Losien: “So… we need… a lot of robots?”
 
Newb: “Shame those ones on the beach are all dead.”
 
Losien: “Can we repair them?”
 
Char: “There still wouldn’t be enough of them.”
 
Wai: “There… is a place we could go to to recruit some help…”
 
Char looked at Wai.
 
Char: “I hope you don’t mean Sanctuary?”
 
Wai: “It’s the only place I know of where there’s thousands of robots readily available. I mean, you could ask one of those robotics companies for robots, but they’ll take time to assemble. It might be too late.”
 
Char: “It seems like the best solution we have, but I… do not think it w-w-will be easy to convince anyone from Sanctuary to help.”
 
Losien: “Where is this place? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it.”
 
Newb: “I have. It’s a robot city, out in Antarctica. Robots that… don’t like humans very much.”
 
Losien: “Ah…”
 
Char: “It seems like our only choice right now.”
 
Losien: “We’ll have to try. But why on Earth is it in Antarctica?”
 
Wai shrugged.
 
Wai: “Why not? Most robots don’t need food or trees or grass. They’re not as susceptible to the cold, either. And it’s on unclaimed land, far away. It’s perfect.”
 
Newb: “Not perfect for us! I’m going to have to wear my extra woolly knickers for this!”
 
Losien gave a small smile.
 
Losien: “Glad you’re coming with us.”
 
Newb: “I think I have to. Iriana will end up an ice statue without me.”
 
Losien: “We’d all better get our winter clothes out of the wardrobe!”
 

---

 
Necroman danced down the street with one of his necroids, who was laughing gaily as they span and span. He came to a sudden halt and dropped the woman, who fell on the ground roughly. She just laughed despite the injury. He had stopped because they had reached a river, but there was no bridge. The necroids had all gathered up in a large group to look ponderously at the strong currents. They parted, without even looking back, to allow the Necroman to advanced through them. He reached the river and stared with interest.
 
Necroman: “I wonder why there’s no bridge here!”
 
Necroid #1: “There’s one further down the river. Maybe a mile or two.”
 
Necroman: “That won’t do, my friends! That just won’t do at all! We want to get to a city so we can make new acquaintances!!”
 
The crowd cheered and whooped.
 
Necroid #2: “I always wanted city friends!”
 
Necroid #3: “Can we eat them!?”
 
Necroman slapped the necroid on the shoulder and said, with a fatherly voice;
 
Necroman: “If that’s what will make you happy, then you do you!”
 
Necroid #3: “Yaaaaaay!”
 
Necroman: “But first, we have to surmount this challenge! Into the river you go!”
 
The necroids surged forward and plunged into the icy water. Person-atop-person. Those under the water felt their bodies filled up with liquid, from the remains of their lungs to their stomachs and intestines. They choked and blubbed and suffered… but didn’t die. In fact, they laughed. A blubbing, underwater laugh. Some were swept away by the current, where they bashed into rocks and screamed with pain and delight as they went.
 
When enough necroids filled the water, Necroman stood on them and started to walk across. He stamped on a few of them and gave a cackle. They did too, despite the blood and bruises.
 
When he reached the opposite side, he gave a little jump and landed on soft ground. He spun, arms wide.
 
Necroman: “Voila! Come on everyone!”
 
The necroids still on the bank ran over the body-bridge. Their feet hammered those underfoot. Parts of the bridge gave way and bodies went sprawling in all directions, many with broken limbs. The event happened with wild cackles and screams.
 
Necroman was laughing so hard that he had to wipe a tear from his eye.
 
Necroman: “This is brilliant. Never seen anything like it.”
 
In the water, the necrofish, also affected by the necromist as it merged into the water, were adding to the bridge and flapping about. Some of the necroids slapped each other with the necrofish, or started to eat them, even as they flapped madly when their teeth sank in.
 
Necroid #4: “I’m gonna eat ya, little fiiiisshy~!”
 
One started to sing and was soon joined by others, who forgot their duty to make a bridge and started to catch and eat necrofish.
 
Necroman sighed with pure pleasure. The world was crisp and clean despite the constantly input of endorphins into his system.
 
He had the urge to scream out;
 
Necroman: “I’m king of the woooooooorld!”
 
Necroids cheered and shouted and started to climb out of the river and run on ahead. Many, especially those at the bottom or the fish-chasers, were lost into the currents of the river and swept along. They would, eventually, wake up and start their long march in the wake of their master.
 

---

 
Losien had managed to get together a whole lot of winter clothes, with a whole lot of faux-fur. She was all for animal rights.
 
However, she was now down at the research and development centre, hoping she mind find some useful gear for their march across the snow. She had found some advanced radios, goggles, a few hot water bottles, a snuggie and, when she opened a wardrobe, a robot.
 
Fortunately, Robo-ringmaster was still powered off.
 
She closed the wardrobe door, considered for a moment, and then left him in there.